Hidden Assets

Posted on January 25, 2026 by john graham

President Tramp has got everybody hanging on his every word. And when he wakes up each midnight tweet is a new idea, which his allies have to hold emergency conferences to decide how to respond.

Britain has decided to jump whenever he says jump. Sir Keyer Stammer is a n – ne- ner nervous wreck.

Last night the Last Laugh Looney Party came up with the answer🤡

Tristan Da Cuna.

This long forgotten island popped into my dreaming head. It’s like Greenland with stamps.

Located 10,000 miles from the UK in the South Atlantic, it’s half-way between Africa and South America with beautiful beaches , very very beautiful beaches, some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Ripe for development as a get-away holiday destination. It just needs a few 5 star, no 6 or 7 star Tramp hotels.

Sir Keyer upset President Tramp by paying Mauritius to take the Chagos islands off our hands. But the LLLP gives Sir Keyer the opportunity to make amends and to pay off some of our national debt by selling off what is left of the British Empire. Starting with Tristan Da Cuna.

The stamp collection rights alone would be worth millions, especially if the Kings head on them is replaced by President Tramps head. Just maybe he could also become KING OF TRISTAN DA CUNA.

Then of course there is the possible, even probable deposits of rare earth minerals🤡.

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Winter Garden.

Posted on January 21, 2026 by john graham

Enough of GRASPING the nettle and the sting in the tail.

The garden goes dormant for a while in winter.

Heads down and huddle together in the warm.

Time for a rethink.

Time for a warm drink.

A tipple, a tot or a hot toddy.

Let the winter winds blow.

Even bring on the snow.

Eventually it will all go.

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 🤡

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GRASP 9 — Nettles

Posted on January 18, 2026 by john graham

Grasping nettles stings !!!!! But it is necessary if you want to be rid of them. It can help if you wear gloves.

So have we climbed out of the black hole and GRASPed control of our failing economy and deteriorating way of life ? Step by step.

Life’s going to be a teddy bears picnic from now on🤡

All that invaluable clutter sold to China.

So we successfully got the older generation off their pills, now we need to repeat the exercise with younger pill poppers and drug takers.

Now every older person has been given their own EMARCH (Elon Must AI Robot helper ) they are empowered to use their wisdom to guide the world to a better future. Although it should be remembered they weren’t always so clever at it in the past.

A year without red tape and regulations would be “interesting “. Let’s hope common sense would prevail🤡

Will the Scots gain their INDEPENDENCE from welfare benefits?

How ever will we cope without our politicians 🤡

So how did the Last Laugh Looney Party do with these GREAT RADICAL ALTERNATIVE SPECIAL PROJECTS ?

SADLY THE CHANCES OF ANY OF THESE THINGS COMING ABOUT ARE ZERO.

That is the STING IN THE TAIL.

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GRASP 8 — Politicians.

Posted on January 14, 2026 by john graham

The Last Laugh Looney Party came up with the GRASPing ideas after only a one day Public Enquiry. So perhaps we can do without politicians for a while. It would be an opportunity to refurbish the Houses of Parliament, which could take a few years or even decades if we stretch it out a bit 🤡

It is hard to imagine politicians cancelling elections, but you never know. Maybe if they thought they were going to be voted out, then they might just do it.

So it’s a period of resting, not-working-from-home time for the current clutch of losers, without pay of course.

This will include the second chamber, where in the House of Lords, the ‘Lards’, were asleep most of the time.

When they eventually come back the renovated Houses of Parliament will only have 100 seats each chamber. The politicians in both Houses will all be elected by the voting public.

🤡THEN FINALLY WE MIGHT GET SOMETHING DONE🤡

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GRASP 7 — Welfare Benefits

Posted on January 11, 2026 by john graham

No more “freebies”! That is the wake up call for all of us. Both those who have been receiving unearned benefits and all the rest of the adult population, who have quietly watched it happen. We have been living beyond our means for far too long !

So in future, benefits should only be available to the most needy.

With rigorous initial face to face assessments and regular follow up reviews. The aim should be to get recipients off benefits if at all possible. Either by improving their health, or their education, or skill set or all three.

Voluntary work experience should be a way back into employment. But if people fail to take up these opportunities, then compulsory less attractive work would be the final option before benefits are withdrawn.

Starting this benefits withdrawal process won’t be easy. There will inevitably be howls of protests and pleas for special cases. But the bottom line is that we can’t afford to go on this way.

So how about we pilot the idea in Bonny Scotland first. Just stop all their welfare benefits for a while and see what happens.

There could be an attempted mass exodus of freeloaders to England. Although that could be avoided by reinforcing Hadrians Wall.

Looked at more optimistically and Scotland could become a nation of full employment, with a well educated, healthy and skilled workforce. A leader of the free world !

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GRASP 6 — Technology

Posted on January 7, 2026 by john graham

Technology is transforming the world as we know it. Gone is the Industrial Age, now we are in the Information Age. Or is that the Disinformation Age?

We have a whole new language of gigabytes and terabytes. People are streaming without being near any water. Firewalls with no extinguishers. Blockchains with no blocks or chains. Bugs, bots and malware which sound and are scary. Spam and cookies you can’t eat. Bluetooth which defies all brushing.

You can see my earlier posts on this subject by clicking on “Technology Gap” in the Tag Cloud.

Older people were born in a far less bewildering world.

Getting a GRASP on technology requires a young persons mindset. Many of the older generation are being left behind. But instead of giving them a tablet, it need not be that way:-

A free Elon Must AI Robot Companion Helper -EMARCH – for everyone over the age of 70 could enable them to remain more independent. It could order and fetch their shopping; operate all the gadgets in their house; keep them in regular contact with their family and friends. Maybe even drive their car for them.

With AI it won’t be long before it can even THINK for them 🤡

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GRASP 5 — Pills

Posted on January 4, 2026 by john graham

Everyone keeps saying the NHS is broken. To add to that the junior doctors are on strike right now. While the waiting lists for treatment are ever growing. Many of our GP’s have disappeared behind the 111 door and you are lucky if you can get an appointment any time soon.

At the same time the medical profession are giving more pills than ever. Older peoples daily lives are ordered by the time they have to take their pills. Some before meals; some after meals; some every 4 hours; some before bedtime and some more when you get up. All in all, a pill popping day.

So how do you GRASP this problem?

WARNING THIS IS NOT SOUND MEDICAL ADVICE !!!!

How about if we all came off our pills for a while, under Medical supervision of course. Say for 3 months and then extended for another 3 months if we are not in pain or dead.

GP’s could deal with urgent cases; hospitals could reclaim their corridors and shorten waiting lists; Junior doctors could stay on strike if they like; pharmacies could shut up shop for a while and the big drug companies could just make a lot less money.

SO LONG AS YOU END UP “GRASPING” AND NOT “GASPING”🤡

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GRASP 4 — Clutter.

Posted on December 31, 2025 by john graham

I have been writing about clutter forever. I can’t seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard I try. It needs a GRASP solution.

For years now China has been under-cutting western goods with cheap imports. So how about if reverse that process and send our clutter to China at deep discounted prices. With over a trillion people surely someone would want to buy these rare British collectibles.

Of course each item might need to have an intriguing backstory.

Let’s start with socks. I have always got too many of them. Some of them may have been worn by by famous people like Winston Churchill, or King Charles, or Oliver Cromwell. I only said ‘may’. Still that story should sell a few socks🤡

After this I have got books … and ties …. and trousers … and glasses … and so much more.

All the members of the extended Royal Family could be enlisted to sign greetings cards to go with all the clutter. That should add a few bob to there worth🤡

Our unemployed politicians could be sent to China on a year-long trade mission, to champion the rich history embodied in all this clutter. Which henceforth will be renamed as “Valuable Almost Royal Artifacts“.

This could be the beginnings of another Amazon success story. An echo of the East India Trading Company.

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GRASP 3 — Regulations.

Posted on December 28, 2025 by john graham

We are increasingly bogged down with rules and regulations these days. Lawyers and accountants love them. Civil servants spend all their time dreaming them up.

Elf & SAFTY is the excuse for not doing lots of things. Uman Rights is another catch-all for many more infringements. Tax regulations tops them all, with thousands of pages of rules and the threat of prison if you don’t comply.

What if we cut through all this red tape and freed ourselves from all the rules and regulations for a while. Just to see what it’s like. Maybe we could try it for a year.

I don’t mean a lawless society, we could make “COMMON SENSE “ the new order of the day.

The police have already done this to some extent, by not bothering to catch shoplifters and just giving crime numbers to people who have been burgled. That has enabled them to concentrate on more serious crimes, like ‘hate speech’.

SO ! A year without rules could be rather like the Wild West, but preferably without the shooting and lynching. People would need to respect each other’s freedoms and behave kindly towards each other.

Needless to say, there would be a small minority who would take advantage of this situation, but they would get their comeuppance at the end of the year. They could become the bin collectors of the years to come 🤡

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GRASP 2 — Rubbish

Posted on December 24, 2025 by john graham

Rubbish disposal these days has been turned into a complex sorting and sifting operation. Gone are the bin men who came once a week and hoisted your bins contents onto the back of a bin lorry — no questions asked. Now it’s a sort-it-yourself into multiple bins, collected on different weeks — and woe betide you if you get it wrong!

Rubbish has been a frequent feature of my blog and it pops up more and more in the national news with bin collection strikes and flytipping ever more commonplace.

(Click on “rubbish“ in the Tag Cloud to my other posts on this subject)

It’s a symbol of our increasing wastefulness as a society and our lack of regard for our environment.

SO IS THERE A BETTER WAY ?

Conveyer belts up the central reservations of the M1, M5 and M6 could be used to carry all our waste up to a remote glen in Scotland. The glen could be gradually filled in to eventually make a great ski slope to rival Switzerland. That would be great for tourism. The methane produced by the decaying rubbish could be harnessed to power all the new hotels that would be needed.

Who could possibly disagree with that?

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